shavira anandiara

my very first backstage shots. and so do the runway. i'm in LOVE.

2011-11-01T22:22:00.000-07:00

love

2011-10-09T06:51:00.000-07:00

whenever i find the word love-could be in lyrics, books, advertisement, or literally anything, there are ten things that come across my mind. whenever i think of love, these ten things are appearing :
1. Family, grandma, dad, mom, and sis
2. Choi Minho and the rest of SHINee's member
3. Flowers
4. A monotonous highway's scenery. i fell in love every time i went home, but i went sad on the way back
5. Illustration
6. Dogs
7. Cupcakes
8. Somehow the thought about future strikes inside my mind
9. Good Books
10. Oxford shoes

what's your 10 love things? i curiously wanna know.

finally i can write

2011-09-11T08:23:00.000-07:00

about three days ago, last saturday, yes september the tenth, when i went to merlion country to watch the korean version of beatles, SHINee. i went there with my 2 friends who introduced SHINee to me, at first i rejected their Ring Ding Dong, with no excuse. i don't look back, and whenever i saw them fangirling all over SHINee, i just don't feel like i'm interested, at all, but no, definitely i'm not annoyed. But as time goes by and life in bandung was literally hard-i feel like i'm losing my way, and i need idols who can make me at least smile, beside God, family, and friends. and that is the moment i fall in love with them, after being curious for like weeks, i officially watching their variety shows, listening to their music, buying merchandises, ON MY OWN, at first i'm embarrassed about my awful behavior which is being a narrow minded one about KOREAN, and in the end i swallow my ownself, and that is not good seriously, i changed. enough chit chat, the bottom line is i'm loving SHINee with all my heart, literally and sincerely, cause they mean a lot to me. they bring me positivity and i don't know, i just feel like my life's here better since i know them, though they don't know me, it's not a problem, cause i BELIEVE someday they will. Amin. well, it's okay if you think i'm crazy, obsessed, and stuff but you can read my previous posts, i'm telling you the truth, cause to be honest i don't even believe that someone who even has no idea i'm exist can literally changes my life. and that's SHINee, esp the sport guy.

Well, we woke up early that day, and we're on our way to the stadium on 5.40 AM but somehow we weren't sure, is the queue will be that crazy cause it's such a worst way to waste the time, waiting-doing nothing-the whole friggin hot afternoon but we sure it'll be worthed. but we decided to go to the airport since we read someone's twitter telling about the time of SHINee's arrival in Changi, and that's 6 AM-which is such a risky gambling, our hotel is 30-40 minutes from the airport and if we miss the chance to see them, the fear of having the worst way to waste the time WILL COME TRUE. but, we decided to take the taxi, and went straight. however, we made it at 6 AM, precisely, but holy shit the taxi driver drop us on the departure, so we have to run like the wind, asking people where the arrival zone is, and thanks god it's just one floor under. and like any airport fancams on the internet, the crowd is quite crazy, and we didn't wait too long till the boys REALLY SHOWED UP. THEY ARE CRAZILY MORE HANDSOME IN REAL LIFE, THEY'RE FLAWLESS, THEY'RE MAGNIFICENT, AND WE JUST TURN INTO CRY BABIES. really, i couldn't forget how awesome Minho is, he's in the front, right after him is smiley Key, Jonghyun (GOD, HE'S PERFECT), mysterious Onew with masker on, and Taemin. that moment i didn't notice the other cause my eyes were locked on the guy of my dream, who wore the orange jacket, and i still can't believe i'm seeing him that day, quite near, though he's listening to his ipod and wearing sunglasses, i don't even care. i'm falling for him. and the crowds are crazy, running over them to their car and we just found a really nice quiet spot, so we could wave at them, directly with no disturbance from other fans, and ridiculously we waved PRETTILY, yes, we are and we BELIEVE THEY NOTICED US. HOPEFULLY.

Then we went by MRT to the stadium after being lost somehow, we went to the Expo at first, but thank goodness we found the right place. we're on moshpit pen B, and the queue is quite crazy for such a morning. so we queue there-outdoor, until the crew arranged us to queue inside, organized, and i was impressed by the way they work. really, if the show's held in Indonesia, i believe it'll be such a mess, sorry to say that. hour after hour went by, we bought the merchandises too, we ate our food supplies (haha), and finally the crazy 10 hours of waiting was going to be payed off, worthily. The gate was open, we went through the bag checking point, and run excitedly to the arena, and hell no, the 1st&2nd rows're full, so we're on the 3rd and it's pretty close to stage, but damn the stage cause it went too far from the arena where audiences standing. i'm pretty disappointed that moment, and to be honest we chose the wrong spot, it's the T shape stage, and we're in the leg, but still grateful cause they'll perform back and forth anyway. we were so crazily intense, the atmosphere was awesome, the stage was madly HUGE,the lighting, deco,video are RICH and ARTSY. really mean it. there's nothing boorish or cheap i can complain about the whole thing. and the lights were off. "here it goes" i whisper myself.

And the euphoria suddenly changed. it was mad. the fans were shouting HARD AND SO DID I. AND THERE CAME THREE CRY BABIES. HAHAHA. we still couldn't believe the fact we're attending SWC for the very first time, and the opening video was played. it's about how SHINee's born, made of dust, magic dust of course! lead by the charismatic Onew, and my favorite black and pearlescent blue text video was played. It's SHINee World song and THAT WAS BIG and SURPRISING. Taemin went out first (he's quite far from our spot, so it's hard to see his facial expression, but i bet he came out fiercely), then Key (HE'S THE MAN! like seriously all the diva and girly things about him was disappear right away), followed by Onew (i can see his EFFORT (haha!) and excitement like in the fancams, really), Minho (i couldn't see him, that's sucks) and finally Jonghyun came out charmingly, then hit his part. THEY WERE THE BOMBS, THEY OWN THE STAGE, NO DOUBT. then here came Senorita, to be honest i don't like that song, i don't even put it on my cellphone's music playlist. but that night, they're dancing way too HOT, i could see their glittery focus face of make ups and sweats and omg the "japhil deut japhiji anha naui señorita" hip dance part that i used to laugh at the most was PERFECT and i don't even believe i scream my lungs out for the part i used to think ridiculous. Right after is Get Down, and i'm falling to Minho's rap though i don't listen to this song that often, but it went crazy, they were so hyper i wonder how many vits, or meds they consumed before the show. Followed by Rock Version of Amigo, and i feel like they enjoyed that moment a lot, since i believe the younger version of them used to listen to rock and metal band to look cool, and they successfully sang their own song with the touch of rock. they're head-banging crazily, esp in the end, jong was so natural cause he was in a rock band, while key was more like HANGOVER haha, seriously. what a performance!

The next song was Juliette, and the crowds went mad, they and we scream our lungs out and the fanchant was awesome. until the moment Jonghyun held two cans of fireworks and he was raised up high, that was intense, HE'S DEFINITELY A ROCK STAR! then here came a brilliant video-the video that was made with the heart of art, i loved the animation a lot :') i cried too much during this song, it's Hello, one of my favorites. they sang it beautifully, and i accept the fact that Minho's voice is a little off tune in the end, but who cares, he tried his best and sang it whole-heartedly. i always love the feel of this song, the moment when boy meets girl, feels like falling in love but still unsure. so sweet, so SHINee. Followed by Your Name, i seriously couldn't sing a long but crying. i didn't know why i felt so emotional and sensitive that day, is that because i was having my period or what? but i cried happily instead, and this ballad was BEAUTIFUL. really, Onew's voice was like angel's, Key's was strong and awesome, but we think he did better in recording though, Jonghyun high notes were continuously succeed, Taemin's real voice was too sweet and small, you know that? i didn't even believe it, but he sang really well, and Minho.....haha, i even laughed when he hit "Seolleyeo jeom jeom ddeolryeowa". but I LOVE YOU, I REALLY DO. i feel stupid for typing this. After Minho awkwardly shouted "Thank you, Singapore" Stand By Me was played. They had fun and sang it happily and i was so happy for staring at Minho's face, he stood not too far from our spot. I was totally immersed and cry during this line of sweet love songs. Pathetic me.

Then, Key shouted my favorite line of his "OUR LOVE SHOULD GO ON! I STILL LOVE YOU, BABE!" it's Love Should Go On, and it's BIG. Onew's voice is so calming the situation i think, and he ran with Taemin to the round stage and that moment we scream so hard hoping they'll look even a little, but they don't. but, gwenchana! and Minho's rap is A CRAZY STORM, loving the ending when he said 'My Heart' and i bet he felt cool for doing that, haha. then the video played, i don't really get the idea of it, it's an animation one, maybe they put it in cause they've been to Japan these past few week and loving manga's cartoon perhaps? haha they're such little boys. And there came 2 children and pretty blue lights're on and Kayo told me it's Taemin's Solo, she scream quite loud and his voice was TOO SWEET. SERIOUSLY IS HE SHY? OR HESITATE? OR JUST INTO THE SONG TOO DEEP? i bet it's the third answer. and he nailed it, it's my first time listened his solo even saw it live! his dance was awesome, seriously, he's a genius! One of my favorite song and he sang it deeply well, i'm totally loving his solo. Next is Jonghyun's solo. at first i heard this song is so familiar but i couldn't remember, i once heard to this song in So You Think You Can Dance and the routine was awesome. Jonghyun's voice was made from heaven, seriously i told you. the song is Maxwell's This Woman's Work. I cried (AGAIN!) cause this is actually a sad song, and he sang it whole-heartedly, he seriously a man with big heart. he's so handsome by the way. Next is the bomb, Key's my first kiss feat. Taeminnie. and to be honest the back video was AWESOME. THAT WAS ART FROM HEART. THAT WAS REAL ANDY WARHOL-ISH POP ART. THAT WAS AMAZING, and somehow i was busy noticing the details of the video instead of watching their silliness. They were true ENTERTAINERS! Loving the part when Taemin striking Key's face with his index finger, so brutal magnae! and finally it's Minho Oh My God. I watched every fancams of him doing his solo and i still couldn't believe i watch him that day with my own eyes. HE WAS SO HANDSOME and hate to say this actually, sexy. i tried hard not to scream, but i couldn't. i ended up screaming so loud until some chineses near me distracted and glared at me, but who cares!HAHA! i felt evil that moment. And tbh i didn't like the fact that Minho likes to show off his abs actually, haha but who doesn't show off if someone has good body anyway? that's humane, indeed.

They changed clothes and came up singing the song that is so MEANINGFUL to me, so i cried quite hard during this song, it's A-Yo. A-Yo is the song that makes me still living my life in Bandung, i'm not lying. They were naturally silly and had the time of their life i think, i cried happily holding my light stick. An here came the moment when Minho looked straight to the Pen B, quite long, and our eyes were locked for only a few secs, i dazed, forgetting my camera AND IT WAS PRICELESS. i feel happiness and satisfaction, really. and in the end, Jonghyun-the hyper boy-dancing and shouting "cha!cha!cha-cha!", he was so funny and everybody just had real fun. Then another video was played, it's SHINee in the middle of desert. The video consisted of beautiful words, heartwarming ones, about how thankful SHINee for everything and how they see things in life. THIS IS VERY INSPIRING. i cried again, it's the hard one. They grateful for every steps, every people that got their backs, and thanked us, SHINee World for making their dreams come true until today. Next song was Romantic. this is the song of despair, and tbh i don't like seeing them singing this song sensitively, it brought little tears to my eyes cause in real life i didn't like seeing people i know well being sad for man or girl of his dream, esp seeing them ACTED like one. their facial expression were undeniably desperate too, it felt so real! Jonghyun's high notes WAS PERFECT, AGAIN..and it's awkward and sad at the same time seeing Minho cause he didn't sang much but he fell for the song way too deep, haha he's a professional actor, i recall. Next is Obsession. i didn't into this song, actually. BUT I WAS REALLY GRATEFUL CAUSE I TOOK A PICTURE OF KEY, YUP, THE FUCKING MANLY HANDSOME KEY, LOOKING DIRECTLY TO MY CAMERA! (sorry can't upload the photos right now, my card reader is at home in Jakarta) Though it's not Minho, but it felt SO NICE, I FINALLY GOT THE MOMENT. i enjoyed that obsession a lot, and the next song was Graze. this is Key's type of song i remembered that well. i used to have this song in my phone, but when i was at my lowest point and i listened to this song, it definitely GAVE ME A HEARTBREAK. i cried even harder that time so i decided to delete this song (but i'm thinking of downloading again, keke). This song was one of my favorite, and somewhat the dance, outfits, and stuff remind me of the ballad group, 2AM. haha. but still, SHINee you're the best, they sang it beautifully, danced dynamically, and it was awesome. thanks god i wasn't crying that moment.

Finally here came a beautiful video work, it's called Bus Spring if i'm not mistaken. it was so sweet and unique about the story of a boy meets girl, divided by 5 periods, each periods told different story, with different member. There was a girl getting on a bus and there was Minho walking behind her with his earphones on. This moment, this video, and his haircut reminded me all the way about his KBS mini drama The Piano, as oh Jero. He saw the girl and distracted, sure he felt the butterflies in his stomach, so he wanted to seat next to her. He fell in love. The clock ticked and she got off the bus. It was raining by then and there was Taemin with umbrella at the bus stop. He offered the girl to share the umbrella with him. Then, the clock was ticking again, the girl was on her way home and when she got on the bus stop, Key as the guy with big fluffy heart was already waiting there with a pink heart-shaped balloon. Soon Key spotted the girl and smiled widely, danced and goofed around. Later, the girl got off the bus and met Jonghyun. i don't know why she broke up with him, and I HATED IT SEEING JONGHYUN SAD ALL OVER AGAIN, DESPERATE, BEING REJECTED BY THE FACELESS GIRL, literally, haha. Then the girl left, but Jonghyun turned around, and maybe he's still in love and decided to keep the love in his heart, alone. In the end, the clock was ticking again, and the girl came to the usual bus stop and looked for Onew. He was there and smiled, his eyes are beautifully gone. Onew is so sweet, another reason why i love him, is his smile. he's so sincere in anything he's doing, i think. i cried again during this video, thinking about when will i get the chance to feel like this? when's the time i meet the right guy at the right place, in the right moment and feel the spark? i just feel like i want to experience something like this with ... FUCK MY LIFE.

The next song was Replay. i fell in love at the first sight with this song, it sounded so CHILL, SWEET, AND ROMANTIC at the same time. the atmosphere was so nice, i even love the Korean version when they look so 'fresh from the oven', haha hope you get what i mean, i even more love the Japanese, my favorite video of SHINee, i think. and they sang it well. i took a cute picture of dancing Key with a happy face. he's a really lively person in real life, i'm liking him even more. REPLAY MADE ME FELL IN LOVE OVER AND OVER AGAIN, in love with their outfits, the pink background, their voices, their everything, and it actually brought tears to my eyes... again. sorry, i cried a lot during the show, i didn't cry in front of people, anyway. Next is Love Like Oxygen, tbh i don't like this song, just the dance i think it's great and flawless, esp the part they flicked their blazers. and the time Jonghyun was lifted by the floor i think it was great, haha i don't know why, but felt like he really OWN THE STAGE that night. another video before the next song was played. it was a heartbreaking one, but i felt more like dislike it instead of sad, thanks god i didn't cry. in the video they were crying SO HARD. Jonghyun covered his face with his hand (i wonder if he didn't want his crying face to be exposed or he just couldn't do a real one so he covered it all instead), on the other side Key's and Minho's crying acting WAS AFFLICTING. They successfully broke my heart cause they acted well and looked so desperate and REAL. And Onew cried in a red phone box i think that was quite funny -_- and Taemin's cry was PRICELESS. HE'S SO CUTE. LIKE A BABY BOY. seriously, i have no doubt that Taemin's face wasn't made to be ugly. He's naturally handsome Tae Prince :) and the next song is Quasimodo. This song was a soundtrack of drama heaven's postman if i'm not mistaken, and it's def a sad song. i cried during Quasimodo, followed by Life. ONEW'S AND JONGHYUN'S VOICE WAS BEAUTIFUL, WONDERFUL, AMUSING, AMAZING, I DON'T EVEN KNOW. tbh key's voice was not as wonderful as i expected, and i was so proud of Taemin cause his sweet voice was getting stronger and harder while singing his part. i cried even harder, jjinjja mianhae. i couldn't dam up the flood of my tear drops, zzz SOUNDS LIKE SHIT. Next is Onew's solo. I LAUGHED SO HARD when i watch this fancam. Kayo made me watch this at first especially the part he gripped his fist highly with confidence, sang 'VINCERO' with all his heart. but, in real life, it was AWESOME and i felt bad if i laughed that time. that moment was more like a history, even the crazy green lasers all came out. IT WAS MAGNIFICENT. i was immersed and silent and I CLAPPED SO HARD, just for him, sincerely. HE SANG IT REALLY WELL, HE DESERVED IT. HE SOUNDED LIKE NO KOREAN. i felt that moment that he was born for opera, but i hope he never left SHINee, NEVER. Later the lights off and there came a little chinese boy and tbh another ridiculous part of SHINee World, they became angel awkwardly, even Onew wore that 'victoria secret angel' wings and hugged the boy in the end. i was not interested at the beginning, but looking at how Onew obtained a deep understanding of his character, i felt so blessed watching this part. it touched my heart. it told me that SHINee members are truly angel that falls from heaven. i tell you no lie, you should watch it your own.

The boys changed again and another video was played. THIS ONE WAS THE HOTTEST. Minho was boxing, he hit the sack sexily (omg i feel bad for saying this), Taemin was of course a dance genius, Key was riding a big motorcycle but tbh it was awkward and i thought the ending when he glared at the audience was been edited since it looked not real, but still it's cool, Onew was working (he's awesome!) and played the drums afterwards (IT'S AWKWARD, IT'S SO NOT HIM HAHAHA, we laughed so hard that moment) and finally Jonghyun, like Key, riding a big motorcycle, but another type. we had a silly thought about Key and Jjong was somehow fighting over using motorcycle to their own parts, but no one gave in, so the crew just granted both wishes, by making them riding on bikes, but not the same. then they came out, wearing my favorite black and red outfits, performing Ring Ding Dong and IT WAS ANOTHER BOMB. IT WAS THE START OF THE CLIMAX OF THE SHOW. THE DANCE BREAK WAS FUCKING AWESOME. Taemin's popping was CRAZY and i enjoyed that moment a lot, till i felt like the song was too short! The next song was Up & Down. the feeling got more intense. i became more energized listening to Minho's rap and I SHOCKED WHEN HE SHOUTED "MINHOGOON YOOOO!" WHAT THE HELL WAS HE THINKING AND TALKING ABOUT? WERE YOU THAT PROUD BEING MINHOGOON? LOL I LAUGH SO HARD, but if i were you i would be proud too :') next song is Ready or Not, yes THAT CRAZY SONG. they kept throwing and hurling their own body away. they hd fun crazily, and MINHO'S RAP WENT CRAZY! he used to say just 'GIRL' but HE MADE IT INTO G-G-G-GIIIIIRL! that was obviously crazy and out of control! MINHO AND ONEW STOOD CLOSELY AND THEIR SWEATING FACE FACING US, AND THAT MOMENT WAS PRICELESS. that was the time I LOCKED MY EYES WITH MINHO AGAIN FOR NEARLY 2 SECS. still, GWENCHANA! haha i cheer my own self, how irrational i am today. and in the end the boys screaming "JUMP! JUMP! JUMP!" and i thought 'THIS IS THE REAL CONCERT' in my head.

The next performance was FINALLY LUCIFER, started by Jonghyun's high note whisper followed by black and red background and crazy lightings. THE CROWDS GONE MAD. it's kayo's favorie song of SHINee, haha and i was so happy i just got a quite okay shot during "mukkinchae" and i saw that Jonghyun's arms WERE NO JOKE, THEY WERE BIG, THEY WERE ABOUT TO EXPLODE. The fanchant was so loud and crazy too. and here's my favorite part, the time for the remix break of Lucifer and the guys lifted up AGAIN (i have no idea how does the stage equipments cost? must be millions) and wearing their laser hand-sharp metal hand accessories-like-wolverine HAHA and i don't even know what to write. that moment was unbelievable and yes, it was beyond my expectation. the crowd just danced though the space between was inappropriate but no one really cared, they pumped up and hypnotized all the way by their AWESOME performances. The song ended and they went backstage, and it was time for encore. the hilarious crowd was screaming so loud, and here they came, sitting comfortably, singing Jojo followed by Bodyguard. MY SHINEE'S FAVORITE SONG OF ALL TIME. and glad to saw they performed it really well, really honest, really funny, silly, idiotic yet lunatic, had too much fun, they threwing balls to the audience. My mind was scrambled, i was thinking of throwing my light green frog puppet to the stage from my position, I WAS SO WORRIED AND I THOUGHT TOO MUCH. what if the puppet didn't reach the stage since the 1st standing line itself was way FAR from the stage, and i was on 3rd! DAMN. another thought, what if Minho didn't take it, it'll bring a major heartbreak to the sensitive me. SHIT. and the last thought was, WHY WAS THE SONG ENDED UP SO QUICK? SERIOUSLY IS BODYGUARD ONLY 1 MINS LENGTH OR WHAT? BUT I WAS BLESSED LIKE A CHILD WAS BORN AGAIN FOR WATCHING THEM LOVING EACH OTHER ON STAGE, i really mean it. what a brotherhood. esp when Jonghyun pouring water to Minho while rapping with charisma. THAT WAS THE MOMENT AND I LAUGHED SO HARD. JONGHYUN WAS A LITTLE RASCAL, SCAMPY KID. He did that too to Key and taemin! and later Anggy and i decided to throw our souvenirs no matter what happen, but when i looked at the stage I FELT SO .... RIGHT AWAY, i'm not even able to put my feeling that moment into words. like scrambled eggs. I DIDN'T SEE ANY GREEN THING ON THE STAGE, IT WAS EYE CATCHY BY THE WAY. and thanks god, we saw anggy's blue silly glasses were able to reach the stage. i was worried, on edge, i didn't enjoy my all time favorite song that moment, but despite all that I AM really happy seeing them having fun, until i realized that Minho was running around like a wild horse with a red jersey on his back. i had a bad feeling. we did. we knew who gave that thing. the luckiest girl on earth, seriously. i end up crying, this was the HARDEST. FOR A MOMENT IN MY LIFE, I FELT LIKE 'WHY LIFE IS SO UNFAIR?'but it didn't come out from my mouth, i wasn't able to talk.

Finally they gathered and sang ONE. One of my favorite song, and i cried even harder, because of the flaming jealousy and the fact that the show was over. Minho's rap sounded so cute until the 2nd part he teased Key by pouring water and saying "Happy Birthday to you!" and it was the sweetest, though sounded awkward :p and i didn't know, Onew sang One so seriously, he was perfect. and the confetti was out. the song has ended by Onew's awkward thank you, HAHAHA. they walked around the stage, thanking to SHINee World, they bowed sincerely, and that's what i love about them. I AM GRATEFUL FOR BEING THERE. and the fact that Jonghyun wore Anggy's glasses was PRICELESS! we're happy for her, SHE'S LUCKY DOESN'T SHE? and the members laughed so hard looking at Jong's embarrassing face. In the end, everybody in the stadium was singing happy birthday to Key, IN ENGLISH. HOW SWEET THEY WERE TO EACH OTHER. ESP WHEN JONG CONFESSED I LOVE YOU TO KEY, THE CROWD WENT MAD AND SCREAMED SO LOUD AGAIN. it was closed by key's CRAZY dance. they thanked us again with the back dancers and they scream THANK YOU in rock version, THEY WERE MAD,I'M TELLING YOU, taemin also had a good time shouting LOOOOOVE so high if i wasn't misheard, and the funniest thing was listening to onew's THANK YOU SO MATS! THAT WAS THE FUNNIEST ENDING, EVER. Watching they left the stage, staring at their backs, noticing that there was a red jersey written Choi on the back side was .........

But i don't mind, i was grateful for being able to attend the show, and hopefully this won't be the last time. I PROMISE TO KNOW THEM (NOT JUST MEET)AS A DESIGNER, NOT A FAN. I AM A TRUE SHINEE'S FAN AT HEART.

i think it's time.

2011-08-13T08:36:00.001-07:00

i just decided to turn this old introverted or even more like isolated sensitive paper plane-which always share personal feeling, experience and stuffs into some kind of other people's public blog. since i'm majoring one of visual communication design institute, people ask me if i want to share some works in cyber world.
"why don't you try to upload your works i think they're great!"
"c'mon Ay, don't be too shy, even your works are better than her!"
"show off a little bit, don't tell me you decided to abandon your own arts instead of appreciate or let other people do it for you?"
i get those most of the time. so i think it's time to CONSIDER those naggings, and divide this blog into personal life, photos, artworks, and maybe other random stuff.
please don't count me overrated and hope you'll enjoy my blog more.

PS: i have no idea that there's someone out there reading my blog, until one of my good friend said that to me a couple of days ago. literally, i'm flattered and think about upgrading this blog into a better one, don't i? haha. thank you bagus, love to read and be inspired by your disket otak, actually :D

long sigh.

2011-07-29T07:40:00.000-07:00

i always hate goodbyes, well but who doesn't? i know the matter of goodbyes are to improvise oneself, becoming a better grown up person. but, it's humane isn't it? when you finally be able to be comfortable and be who you really are in a bunch of friends, don't humane people just assume to stick to their comfort zone? not everybody likes socializing, anyway. one like me, i admit it. i always hate 1st impression moments and goodbyes.
seriously, why do people have to come if in the end they somewhat intend or purposed or even worse destined to leave in the end? and why they have to leave such precious marks before saying goodbye? why don't we just never meet, never be friends, or let's be friends but not too close-so there's nothing to be worried, sad, even cried to, we won't feel the loneliness without having them around, and so on? why don't people just meet the right people at the right time if the scenario isn't mean to hurt each other's feelings. don't you think the idea is silly and cruel at the same time?

i always believe

2011-06-28T11:14:00.000-07:00

i always believe that someday i'll be a great designer and illustrator.
i always believe that someday i'll have a pent house.
i always believe that someday my sister and i'll buy our parents honeymoon tickets to Hawaii.
i always believe that someday i'll meet my prince charming and create my very own fairytale.
i always believe that no matter how hard or how long i'm struggle in some moments of life, there is always a happy ending.
i always believe that i'll get a scholarship to academy of art right after i graduate from my current university.
i always believe that someday i'll be able to travel the world, with my own money
i always believe that someday, soon, i'll meet shinee, watch shinee world LIVE, and get their autographs. i even believe that i'll keep in touch, no matter how :p
i always believe that someday i'll have a white studio and gallery, and opens for public.
i always believe that someday, soon, i'll make the whole family proud of me.
i always believe that someday, i'll work in a fashion magazine, internationally.

i always believe that somewhere, something incredible is waiting to be known.
and i always believe the power of the secret is really existed.
i always believe that everything i've ever wanted will be granted in the end, as long as i work my ass off, wait, and keep believing in.
and i believe this post will be someday come true.

the more people you know

2011-05-12T10:06:00.000-07:00

the more you become mature especially in accepting differences. but sometimes, people here is so much different in many cases, and somehow those differences naturally building wall that potentially separating instead of bridge. but there is a few that becoming best friends. new ones :)

when you feel like you're in evol but eventually you're not, until you get so emotional watching or listening to any kind of stories telling about one

2011-03-15T10:32:00.000-07:00

and that's the whole point. hahaha never thought my posts are currently so cheesy yet quite personal.

current mood : :|

2011-03-06T07:09:00.001-08:00

these past few days had been up and down for me, literally, realizing that my new lecturer somewhat killer, and too perfectionist in an odd way, and surely there are so many differences in perspective of scoring assignment. and that is no fun, seriously, if you already know your lecturer's point of view in the last semester, means that you can do better and keep improvising to get higher scores, but now........feels like the first day you started majoring art. so abstract which is right could be wrong, or black could be white, and so on which is really frustrating. so those are the down phases.
and here the up one.
i'm moving to a new and better bed sitting room (the appropriate way to say kos in english,) with quite many members in it, so i feel less lonely (keke~)they're friendly also! it's not as awkward as i imagine living in the same roof with a bunch of girls from different background, family, and faculty, and knowing the fact that no one else except me majoring art as well, i feel kinda.....disappointed. but my fella just two houses away from here-so it's all fine, since i used to do my assignments alone so there's no big deal. at least i have new friends and it feels good to socialize after a very long while, kekeke~ sounds cheesy,eh? aaaand...that's not the main idea at all, moving on is not really a big deal, it's just...fine. but the real up is i've been watching korean like i almost throw up cause of the frequency, i was so friggin fed up! but i'm loving it....ahgossssh what's with the asian race you've created and the love you spread? why is it so hard to not be jealous watching those love birds? really!!!!! i'm not that kind of girl that is easily immersed and drown into dramas and stuffs, but seriously this korean thingy totally screwed me up! i daydream a lot, fantasize a lot, ignoring real life, and i know those things are better be left behind but i just can't! and i'm enjoying it-but i still have my limit, it won't bother my real life-college, family, etc-but still, i somehow wanna quit (like the less i know about korean love back then the less i'm interested even not giving a single damn at all) hurrrhrhh........oktokke? even seriously i'm thinking about writing fanfics!

mianhae mianhae mianhae
this is so cryptyc.

i'm gonna pass through this. in no time.

2011-03-04T08:11:00.000-08:00

less than 4 years is not a long time, no? and i fly to east, find a lover- meet my dream guy, and have a great commitment. then fly to west, continue my study and still keep in touch with the guy in the east, promise that we'll meet in anytime soon.

leaving

2011-02-17T04:45:00.000-08:00

why there is such thing as distance? knowing one of my close friends leaving by midnight and few months after my sis will be leaving me to Europe too? i'm starting to dislike that land, since it's annoyingly taking people i've known better.

how people could be really disappointing.

2011-02-10T03:34:00.000-08:00

i know that people have both sides-and most of the time it doesn't come out the way we expected.

long sigh. i hate plans.
i mean, i hate unaccomplished plans.

this is my confession.

2011-02-07T07:31:00.000-08:00

that i am friggingly inspired about writing....anything! periodically, i mean there's a chronology in it, not just some kind of random stuff or emotional thoughts with little words, but more like.....story. i don't know, i just feel that i have to write-another way to refresh my mind after having busy day and so on. and to be honest, s inspired me to do this! HAHA this is so embarrassing yet somewhat fascinating in my own way-cause you know, what do you expect from random idol who is able to change his random fan life into a better one? i hope this is okay, so i'm trying to start writing. but for sure, this is not a love series (since my love life is so flat like a flat shoes, ha ha but IT IS OKAY! even FINE! or could be FUN!) i enjoy loving those guys :$:$:$

c'mon people......

2011-01-29T03:26:00.000-08:00

you think you're cool by having cameras as your new necklaces? or you think you're unique just by listening to some indie-rubbish sound that somewhat you don't even know the idea of the song is? just realize people, why are you all the same now? it's boring knowing that people nowadays interested in either art, photography, music, or fashion. are you guys posers or what?
HAHA-don't take it too personally, cause i'm just tired seeing people showing off their big butts of stupidity.

2011-01-29T03:11:00.000-08:00

we borrow each other's stuff by Shavira featuring red scarves

H&M Letterman Jacket
hm.com
H&m jackets »

Baseball jack (H&M)
hm.com
H&M »

MOSCHINO A0304 532 555 BLACK COTTON P19E01
395 GBP - farfetch.com
Black cotton pants »

Long Cashmere Socks - Cashmere Welly Socks | Brora
79 GBP - brora.co.uk
Cashmere socks »

converse ct as seasonal hi M9613
59 CAD - gravitypope.com
Flat shoes »

Chucks von CONVERSE ab 49,95 € im Impressionen Online Shop
impressionen.de
Converse sneakers »

BERNHARD WILLHELM TIGER SCARF BLACK/RED WOOL -
110 GBP - farfetch.com
Red scarves »

DeLux Knitwits 'Sock Monkey Face' Knit Pilot Hat (Girls)
$28 - nordstrom.com
Embroidered hats »

Nepal Animal Monkey Hat - Beanies - Oneposter.com
14 GBP - oneposter.com
Beanie hats »

MONCLER GAMME BLEU A/W2010 00005.0003846-781 DARK BLUE/WHITE/GREY/RED...
134 GBP - farfetch.com

Nudie jeans jeans NAVY
128 GBP - matchesfashion.com

Ten-Mile Quarter Socks
$13 - woolrich.com

Saranghae (I love you)
fonts.com

Polaroid 300 Instant Camera | Available Now | FreshnessMag.com
freshnessmag.com

Minho
tumblr.com

i just want to walk around the s-town with youuuuuuuuu (8) and my birthday wish is fulfilled :)

mwahaha

2011-01-25T04:13:00.000-08:00

"Though our hobbies are different,
And our thoughts are different,
Our habits have become similar
The way we talk becomes similar,
And even the times that we fall asleep,
after we talk at night
Have become the same"

:)
amin.
since there are lots of differences between us.

what an improvement.

2011-01-24T04:20:00.000-08:00

seriously, i really thank god for knowing these guys. the guys who adorably singing A-Yo to wake me up every morning, the guys who sing both Hello and Replay every time i take a bath, the guys who keep on singing until my playlist over through the entire street to catch some public transportations. and these guys finally rest after i arrive in the class. ...... not so much to tell, since i have to listen the lecturer instead of music.

thank you for being my mood booster every day in this holy town. and thank you for always being next to me whenever i feel lonely. i put a smile every time i listen or just hear, or just see you guys slightly but it takes hundreds gallons of happiness to capture the moment. i love you guys, especially the one from the choi family. haha you're snobby now but that's just.............okay. i hope s still be your priority among the other hyungs that you always look after these past few days. i hope this fame won't change the way you think, or act, or embrace the world. just keep making good friendship and music with the other four. and i hope someday we'll meet and knowing each other well.

huhu i almost cry writing this, since there's no one around me, and to be honest i feel lonely. but i just have no guts to tell people how much i need them actually. it's hard to be an aquarian.
but thanks for these five gifted guys who always shine my day to the shiniest. i love you after my family. :''')

people don't change but people grow. things are possible, and if we're meant to be we wont grow apart.

i wet my chix.
urrrgh i hate the melancholic me. why this city always successfully brings me to my lowest point?! i hate being weak most of the time.

i love this atmosphere

2011-01-14T10:00:00.001-08:00

it's 2 am in HK. and i just randomly looking for available wifi network and luckily got one, and ta-da-da (sounds like korean) i just connected to the cyber world. and i just want to tell you that this country is.... so ... i don't know, comfortable-eventho it's awkward and stuff-you know there's a sea, high buildings even cliff and big rocks at the same area, so mix and somewhat match (wtf). but the point is, maybe cause i've never been to a place with so many slant-eyed people (well, thai people are different i guess), it feels so different. honestly it feels like i'm in a korean drama. okay, i've been fantasizing a lot about korean lately (and it's still going on-i try so hard to find the similarity between them and people here, but surely none of them are as good looking as them-yeah, twisting//\\), but stay in a hotel with so many floors, and so downtown-ish, busy street with so many people crossing over, fancy cars to and fro any moment, high schoolers having a quick snack in little shops nicely arranged in every corner and..... i'm not sure about things i write-maybe i'm too excited until i forget the point but i just love the crowd. i love queuing for the subway among the crazily many passengers and have a little people watching. i love the atmosphere. i love watching old man walking his dog, i love looking at the well-grown men or women in their cutaways or blazers and their smart phones (mostly iPhone) busily walking in long steps without looking around. i adore gentlemen treating their girlfriends well-somewhat protecting in an asian way (you know what i mean-not the holding hand or snog thingies, but innocently stroke the girl's hair while walking HAHA WTF), it's like a drama after all! seriously. i also enjoy watching people's street style (since it's been windy and cold here-january til feb-from taking a glance until staring at someone's cute cloak or boots, or hat so H to T). and i just can't take my eyes from the colorful lanterns and lights whenever the night comes. in the end, i just love being here. the language's confusing, but i think most of people here are able to speak english even slightly and ah! the yoghurt's toppings here are better too (the marshmallow tastes so yum)! and to be honest..i just love asian love~(?)
OKAY,.m.e.a.n.i.n.g.l.e.s.s

i'm not ready the college life will start anytime soon.fness.
i just want to travel the world.

this is the bigger L, not that ordinary l

2011-01-11T11:02:00.000-08:00

GOOOOD LOOOOORD, I DON'T KNOW EXACTLY WHAT TO SAY, BUT BEING ABLE TO ROLL OVER WITH BLANKETS ON BED, COVERING MY RED FACE WITH PILLOWS THESE PAST FEW NIGHTS, BEING SATISFIED BY ALL HIS AEGYO IS SIMPLY HEAVEN!GOOOOODDDDDD SUCH A CREATION, I LOVE THIS GUY MORE THAN ANY GUY I'VE EVER FALLEN IN WITH............

-SEE YOU AS MY H LGM

randomly why?

2011-01-02T08:07:00.000-08:00

why do people keep making up things that the other people sure it wont happen? why does writer keep writing fantasies and doctrines innocent people to still believe in magic? why does an entertainment industry keep advertising idols to make other people love them hopelessly? why do idols keep doing lovely things that even picking up their nose isn't a disgusting crime at all? why does bird keep singing no matter it's morning or dawn? why does life so unfair? why are humans created to be paired? why do people feel insecure most of the time? why on earth is an idol who doesn't even know i exist able to calm me at my lowest point? why do people have to be parted from their own family in the end? why do living things have to adapt if they even don't want to? why does life offer so many options until people get troubled and pick the wrong choice? why do people feel? why do some people can't get over their childhood life? why do some people born with natural talent while the other people don't? why does right hand have more rights than left? why do people change so fast, even earlier than the season? why do people make rules but breaking them in the end? why can he be so pretty? why do people so easily brainwash and do the same thing over time? why do people fall in love while other people keep avoiding and keep everything to themselves? why this why that?

what a pity.

2011-01-02T07:28:00.000-08:00

wise man told me things. how hard this life could be.
that life is not a playground anymore until you become 18. that life doesn't flow flawlessly like a river, but it's a spring that you have to keep digging in with efforts. life isn't an ice cream, it doesn't offer you many things, it's not satisfying and not always sweet. life is somewhat not a roller coaster though it may
gives you experience being up and down during the ride, cause it guarantees you that the track is safe and you'll finally arrive at the finish line, alive. but life is like an old car. you are the driver, no matter which of many paths you'll take in the end, they have their own beauties or lacks. the good thing is, you are the guide for your own self. though you don't know which path that will lead you to the place with the most wonderful scenery in the end.
life is also like playing card. for some people who born with tons of luck, playing card is an easy game. it's God who divine our card, but still-it's our sharpness and wanting to win that will save us from losing. but life is so inspiring. through life and its problem human create great arts, compose music, build and solve things. but life is known for it's own despair and those who can't handle it prefer to end it sooner than others. life is not a fairytale. life is full of obstacles. life pushes you to keep moving forward. life shout you to open your eyes and embrace. life is a crazy ride. life is unpredictable. life is not always love, happiness, or any other positivity, but life keeps them to be safe and wait until the right people who search it gently come and open the gate. life is not greedy, but life takes things without permission. life is full of conflict. life is about balance. life is a precious time, and begins when you're away from the comfort zone and keep doing things, either you like it or not, life doesn't tolerance. life could bring people down, make people feel, let people enjoy moments, but life doesn't have a reset button.
so in the end, the wise man say to me gently to live my life to the fullest.

you're too innocent until you're sinful.

2010-12-27T06:38:00.000-08:00

what a night. we dig our own grave of secret. haha. super cute. another fun way to end 2010. it's nice having old friends after a really long while.

when you have nothing left but an idol.

2010-12-24T21:10:00.000-08:00

in my mind we're already married, M. HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA

look at the mirror and what do you see?

2010-12-21T20:35:00.001-08:00

i see myself succeed. a better, professional person. with my family gathered around, but unfortunately there's no man.
what i see somehow is satisfying and surely motivating.
but in the end, it just creeps the hell out of me!

s l o w l i f e

2010-12-11T08:54:00.000-08:00

how slow it's still December 2010.

time tells for real.

2010-12-09T03:59:00.001-08:00

seriously when you have too many doubts, negative thoughts, or just sadness scrambling up your mind, just....... do nothing, cause naturally and automatically time heals everything and it's happening really. and i'm starting to forgive myself, enjoying moments, writing again (though i still don't have much time to write and make art pieces instead of assignments), having lots of loud healthy laughs, trusting friends (new sweet ones), being a little dependent for some reasons, and liking stranger. i know i've been lacked of expression, or feeling or could be life this past months, but after those miserable months past, and surely i keep my eyes and mind open, and try (though not so hard) to be positive and optimistic, with the help of universe and time, and the power of faith (the secret is no bullshit) it works, no lying. really i finally back on track, even i feel like i'm on the right track that'll lead me to a great days ahead (i don't know but i just believe).

"if you have no faith, you have no life."
anonymous

what i want for christmas are..... (the order doesn't define the priorities) feel your christmas by buying me some :(

2010-12-09T03:12:00.000-08:00

rain is my bestfriend.

2010-11-09T01:17:00.000-08:00

another good thing i finally find here in Bandung is this city is wet most of the time. the rain here is heavy and comfy. and here comes me-doing water color painting all alone.

sad?
quite....a little.
i wanna go home..like everyday!

can't wait to go to europe.

2010-11-07T11:01:00.000-08:00

not the vacation but to let go my sissy to study overseas. yup, OVERSEAS. not just OVER HIGHWAY like the loser town i'm into.
better to leave than to be left. feeling abandoned is just.........
worst.

thank God i'm normal

2010-11-04T07:30:00.000-07:00

there are some butterflies in my stomach after a really long while :)

dear followers, would you do me a favour?

2010-11-04T07:11:00.000-07:00

by telling me what is the real definition of happiness. not just a great smile and big laugh everyday, but the true happiness, sort of long term one.

they are strangers.

2010-10-19T09:56:00.001-07:00

never need them the way i needed them
never told them how i really feel inside
never ask them for help unless i really caught in a undeniable problem
never miss them the way i miss the familiar faces
never laugh with them as loud as i did when i'm around them
never feel lonely if they leave me alone
never put much attention until they told me to
never show them my real identity

never share things with strangers, aye?

10 things i miss the most

2010-10-19T09:30:00.000-07:00

1. my family
2. high school life
3. my hometown, my house, my room , all the clutter and mess
4. positivity
5. happiness
6. quality times
7. reading good books
8. sketching
9. writing (in many ways)
10. traveling

to be honest, i'm sick living here.

art is beautiful

2010-10-18T09:51:00.000-07:00

until you got not-so-satisfying-score-whereas-you-finished-the-project-in-almost-two-days.
boo hoo!
sometimes i left my heart somewhere else while my hand were busy painting papers.

but still,
art is beautiful.

i'm starting to like all these crazy things

2010-09-16T09:52:00.000-07:00

yes i am now.

but there's something missing.

life is like a highway.

2010-08-30T08:32:00.000-07:00

there's no U turn, you can't turn around.
just keep in mind that there's a beautiful place awaits in a couple miles away.

philosophically true.

but i'd rather come back home than drive unsafely.
cause i might die on the way.

Jane Austen is a genius.

2010-08-11T06:35:00.000-07:00

cause her writings reflect my feelings precisely. somehow.

i miss my bestfriends.

2010-08-11T05:41:00.000-07:00

back in my hometown.

august rush.

2010-08-09T09:04:00.000-07:00

my August posts are way too sentimental. Just avoid these. skip skip skip until December.

i'm not perfect.

2010-08-09T08:45:00.000-07:00

and it's perfectly fine. tho who does not expect things to be perfect? don't fool yourself.

Cry a river

2010-08-09T08:37:00.000-07:00

just not enough. my tears as much as the ocean.

There's no place like home.

2010-08-09T08:16:00.000-07:00

no matter how small your bedroom is, how dull your parent's rules are, or how annoying your sibling can be. They are irreplaceable, just like your home.

i live in a house right now, not a home.

Melancholy, somehow could be my (secret) identity.

2010-07-24T11:21:00.000-07:00

i haven't packed anything yet. i am not ready for moving on at all. i am in the deepest level of my comfort zone. i'm in LIMBO for inception sake. not really to mention or discuss the twist of it, but i just feel so conscious and inspired (well, maybe the movie successfully did the whole inception thing to my mind until i get so real for the first time). Blame me no, i'm purely Aquarius, being aloof most of the time, imaginative, and heads on the ground while feet walking in the clouds. My mood turns upside down extremely and it's hard for me to control. and probably, still i'm not sure and keep denying, i will move out from this town tomorrow. and i don't EVEN have any idea i'll be back or not. don't count the weekends, cause i'll spend my spare time in my home, not the house out there. hopefully you guys get the point.

okay, you-dear readers, don't really have to know the plan-really abstract yet complicated, surely i can explain, but the same time i will be very confused and no doubt that you might think i'm just an indecisive human ever being. i'm just too ignorant and always keep in faith, that God has a plan for me and will show me the way. could be very misleading point of view i finally realize, but i'm too lazy to move my ass, get to the desk, write note (i end up sketching things) and keep my timetable and future plan balance. a hard thing to do for unorganized 'thing' like me.

and here it goes, i'm writing blogs, trouble sleeping, and starving. i haven't packed anything yet (for the 2nd time! it has to be done tomorrow afternoon,by 3 pm). i just don't know. i plead for staying longer, or coming home early. i'm just too sucked down here in the deepest level of limbo, hypnotized by the beauty and the comfort and the warmth of good people.
i just wanna be like 'that' Ariadne, building great buildings and bring back memories.
i always want to be an architect, no matter how less they sleep each day, how grand the math they should learn, or any other craziness that always make them want to give up dream.

i just don't think that B-town will suits me.

and keep in mind that i might delete this post (or not) until the plan accomplished *beseeching my lungs out*
amin.

Moving On.

2010-06-24T08:15:00.000-07:00

i used to write dreams and hopes into dusty random paper i found on the top of my shelf and fold it gently into paper plane. and like most of the boys do, I'll fly it away. when it securely lands, I'll take it back and put it anywhere (since i don't take a good care of things), and the paper become dusty again. feeling abandon. left behind.
and yesterday, however, i found one when i clean up the clutter and open the foldings and read what i wrote in a couple months back then.

"SAPPK ITB"

how excruciating is that? ah, too much drama. more like painful i guess.
well, things are scrambling inside my mind. i automatically reminisce things.
but there's no chance to reach goals afterward.
what's the point of being sad and regretful in days anyway? why don't i just move on? and take the art as the way it is, passionately though not prominently (real bad idea). or maybe if i were somehow (hopefully) meant to be an architect, God will show the better path to be one? international program?

just moving on. remember that life is like a highway. there's no U-turn, people can't turn back time :)

To Everything There is Season. To Everyone There is Everyone Else.

2010-05-23T01:42:00.000-07:00

But to me, there is nothing left, except family.
literally, and emotionally.
:)

my biggest wonder is...

2010-05-16T00:35:00.000-07:00

slip into a puddle, and diseappear. and when i wake up-every magic is real. Neverland- the place where I get lost with Peter Pan.

positivity

2010-04-28T09:21:00.000-07:00

whenever you feel lonely, better deny.
whenever you feel depressed, better refresh.
whenever negativity comes up, better ignore.

cause we are the people. we rule ourselves. we practically rule the universe. we collaborate. we are able to control, but there are several times that we may lose it. we create things. we destroy them as well.

we are not alone. we felt or did the sames. everyday. and that's period. we always be together. neither directly nor non. the fact is, that we are ordinary. but there's also the extraordinary, they who have more positivity.

and it could be me, or you, perhaps their turn. or just US.

100 reasons. Really, More than Literally.

2010-04-27T09:03:00.000-07:00

why people love the Jonas Brothers:
this is random, not alphabetically, not based on any orders or anything more dominant than others.
just. read.

1. They are brothers. A really strong bond, and they fight for each other.
2. They are humble. Guaranteed.
3. They are down to earth. No matter how fat or ugly or bitchy or evil you are, but if you're a fan, and you're dying to get their signs, they'll just sign it right away.
4. They have a great musical talent.
5. They have Kevin as a big committal and responsible brother. never the less, he's a great manager.
6. They have Joe, a crazy kick ass middle brother. He's so hilarious and a natural comedian.
7. They have Nick, a golden little brother, who is talented in every instrument. Plus, he's my favorite.
8. Kevin just got married, and he married a total sweet stranger. Danielle.
9. They were stumbling hard but never look back, and keep moving forward.
10. They are hard workers.
11. They have faith. They are Christian. Thou that's not my religion, and it's a pretty considerable boundary between us. Principle always seem the toughest.
12. They know how to dress.
13. They know how to please girl yet dump the most. They always have the way.
14. They didn't change. Or even there's a little change, they change into a better persons.
15. Nick is diabetic, but he survives and doesn't look himself low. Inferiority never be the best way out.
16. They are friendly, to whoever. Really.
17. They are so care about environment, i don't know it's a demand from their production or what, but the way they look at natural disasters that happened these past few months, people can see their eyes were not lying. They care, and they help.
18. They are rich.
19. They are young, and succeed.
20. They have really cool cars. Let's just say, they're unique, and they got style.
21. They love their parents.
22. They have cute dogs. Actually Kevin and Nick have. Maybe Joe should wait for his next year birthday.
23. They always rock the stage, period. Doubtless.
24. They love to hang out together.
25. They are from Disney.
26. They are cute. No matter how old they will be, but the middle name 'cute' will always appear.
27. They are silly. Especially Joe.
28. They have their own nicknames.
29. Kevin is called K2 (the short for Kevin the 2nd, or Kevin Jr.) or King Mufasa.
30. Joe is called Dj. Danger.
31. Nick is Mr. President.
32. They have a strong characters. And hopefully, they will stay the same.
33. They have lots of guitars.
34. They love to play the G key on guitar.
35. They love to wear Louis Vuitton, esp. the oldest, Kevin. I think that's quite dandy, but if the bros wear that, people WOULDN'T mind.
36. They have an incredibly..... active little brother. Frankie.
37. They have an extremely loyal bodyguard. Big Rob.
38. They own their own twitter accounts.
39. They also have the Jonas Brothers twitter account.
40. They tweet by themselves, and they have fun. Especially Joe. haha!
41. The fact that Nick Jonas is single, though heard some rumors Nick Jonas dating Nicole Anderson, but still, the sure thing is..........NICK JONAS IS SINGLE.
42. They have their own tv series. quite crispy but people love it, including me!
43. They are going to have a world tour 2010 and maybe next year. 1 year 1 big tour, probably.
44. They are curly.
45. Their freckles are not annoying, those all fit their face, even those make the brothers look more handsome :)
46. They are gifted. That's what people and i believe.
47. They never have a scandal or any foul gossips with anybody yet, so far. Forever will be great.
48. They are NATURALLY funny. They don't make fun or insult people. They don't try to joke, maybe because Nick and Kevin often hangs out with Joe. Their sense of humor is wicked!!!!! :D
49. They love apple. Yup, the company, the brand.
50. They read tons of fan mails one by one. They appreciate all of their fans.
51. They reply the fan tweets. Not all of them, just the lucky 20, constantly. I haven't been there yet :'(
52. They love checking up beautiful girl-fans while performing on stage.
53. They don't mind having crush with a total stranger. Kevin is exceptional. He has Danielle already.
54. Joe and Nick wish one important thing. The girl that they will marry must be their biggest fan.
55. They treat their special girl like a lady. They always turn to be serious about relationship, even just a glimpse of chat about it.
56. They love to eat ice cream.
57. They vote for Yankees.
58. They love watching Lakers game.
59. They come from New Jersey.
60. They never forget the past, the hard time while selling "It's About Time". They always praise God for what they've come and what they have.
61. Their fans are amazing. Their fans know them inside out. Their fans are TRUE FANS.
62. Their dreams are remarkable, and wild. Their dreams are outside the box.
63. They have many hidden talents. For example, Joe. He's been a great cook while the Jonas Brothers touring in Spain and around Europe.
64. They love animal.
65. They love sport.
66. They love to jump around, rolling, they are wild, they are free, they love to do acrobatic stuff while performing on stage.
67. They are not pretenders. They are not fakers. They hate them.
68. Kevin and Joe are so worry about Nick's health.
69. They take care of each other really really well.
70. They always make their fan scream their lungs out.
71. They are never full of envious to each other. They always proud of what Kevin or Joe or Nick did, or had, or achieved.
72. They always support each other. Whenever it comes to decision, three of them will decide together. And every votes are counted.
73. They like to lock eyes with a fan, and sing directly to him/her.
74. They obey what their parents order to.
75. Staying healthy is a very major, important thing to them.
76. Their songs represents their life. Their songs are just as honest as them. Even they're true to their fans.
77. They are addicted to new gadget. Nick Jonas is craving for and iPad.
78. They admire other musicians. And always learn from their positivity.
79. They love to make friends.
80. They intimidate. Hard to tell, but yes, directly or indirectly. We will be less talkative or even speechless when they're around.
81. They had been the cover of magazines. It's like.... their daily routines? Attending the photo shoot and stuffs? They were the cover of ROLLING STONES, baby!
82. They love to laugh. Their laughs are priceless.
83. They love to document their trip into photos and videos, esp. Joe.
84. They have been to the year 3000.
85. They love to bounce.
86. They have been waxed. They are part of a strictly memorable history. Undeniable truth! Maybe not as heroic as the "Fab Four" but still, JB ROCKS!
87. They love to eat apple with peanut butter "Skippy" on it.
88. They write song whenever they feel it to.
89. They have been invited to any kind of reality show.
90. They love their fans. They praise their fans.
91. They never disappoint their family, friends, and fans.
92. They speak gently to everybody.
93. They don't go partying. They hate parties. They don't think that's the proper activity for role models. They'd rather having dinner with the family.
94. They introduce their girlfriends to their parents.
95. They follow each other on twitter. The entire family.
96. They love to hang out on beach.
97. They love Starbucks, especially Kevin. He's addicted to it.
98. They love dedicating songs.
99. They performed with a living legend, Stevie Wonder.
100. THEY ARE REALLY AWESOME. PLOBNRG! THEY ARE THE SHINIEST STARS ON EARTH FOR NOW, AND HOPEFULLY FOR THE FUTURE. KEEP MAKING MUSIC, JONAS BROTHERS!

see? 100. i made it.
wish the brothers really read it someday.

the truth is

2010-04-20T07:40:00.000-07:00

No matter how much i miss about people, i never ever tell them directly about it.

And no matter how dull the blogger is, i never ever get rid of it.
Literally.

good day!

2010-04-01T09:30:00.000-07:00

mayhap this will be my last post. cause tumblr are way much interesting to be honest-sorry for the creator of blogger but i think there are many improvements that you have to consider. Ha! just a random not so considerable advise from a total random user. yeah, inferiority strikes, and surely couldn't help it. and yeah i want to end this crappy postings nicely-by saying good day-not good bye, cause i hate farewells, i got misty eyes to be exact and that's undeniable, especially waving hand to someone we love-that's terrible.

so.......what? i don't know. have no idea. just wanna talk here talk there. just for your information i'm in my senior year of high school, imagine how crazy the busy schedule we've been through this year-yeah they happened all in a row, maybe not in a particular row but really. if there's a metaphor for the insane situation like couple days ago it would be "out of the tiger's nozzle, you'll be trapped inside the crocodile's" yeah, that's silly, it's Indonesian phrase actually and i like that! meaning the endless problems, one solved there's always another on the other day. tiring, really. even frustating but i have good family and friends (and mayhap you) that always encourage me. so THANKS. A LOT.

i hope in April everything would be nonsense, yeah everything won't be as it seems-will be unusual and that would only happen in my world. MINE. MINE WORLD. ME OWN THE WORLD YEAH! wouldn't it be nice all the shits done in April and i will travel time through the black hole to waste the particular three months HOLIDAY? HOLY-SHIT THAT'S AWESOME! that is!!!! indeed! yeah, isn't interesting? okay, drama queen. but please do tolerate if you're in my position maybe you'll be fucked as well? sorry for the rude words but i'm really into it. c'mon 18 april come faster. and please bring me the great news, sounds: congrats, you're accepted in ITB. i'll jump really, well no firstly i'd shocked. yea shocked with wide open eyes and mouth (ugly), and unconscious tears will drop. yeah. that's crazy. i would run a mile to catch my ma and pa and my sister and grandma for sure and spread the great news. no, i don't mean to show off but it's somekind like expression am i right? yeah, so psh...back off. just tolerate or go. ha! just kidding.

GOD KNOWS THE BEST. REALLY. THE VERY FIRST THING I BELIEVE IN. please God, fulfill my wish. i'm down on my knees. Bismillah. and.......... good day you guys! you can follow my tumblr (if you're interested cause i don't insist) it's http://dinocularts.tumblr.com/

once again and mayhap it would be the l a s t.... GOOD DAY!

when you have nothing as motivation

2009-11-19T07:55:00.000-08:00

stop sitting around, the gravity won't bring you luck but tie your feet on the ground. go get your glasses and try to concentrate. the key of success is never stop questioning just keep asking, ask! anything! shouldn't be humiliated by the master of physics, i certainly have to study more.

things i've found on my desk

2009-11-14T06:37:00.000-08:00

sacrifice equals happiness

i..just don't know

2009-10-24T01:12:00.000-07:00

please anyone tell me what life is all about, from both sides, not just the good one, but more like someone who has already been through all kinda phase in life.
i need lights, i need direction,
but that doesn't mean i'm lost or frustrated.
NO, NOT AT ALL!
i'm just curious and try to figure that out.

i wanna know what the idea of life is.
cause in the end, life's all about learning and regretting things.

i wish i could be more positive.

5 things i like about you

2009-08-29T11:15:00.000-07:00

it's absolutely the almighty 5 things around me, that always successfully make me feel; can stand in a solid ground. even dramatically, make me live my life.

1. Good People
family, close friends, friends, or total strangers. have a little conversation really makes my
day! or just being around in silence, that's the comfy moment.

2. Good Music
music is number one, tho i can't play those very well. as they say, your music is what you are,
and i've found my identity already>>>indie-folk! but now kinda head on indie-twee :) good
music enlightens up my mind.

3. Good Weather
Sunshine makes me gloomy, conversely raindrops present me a very calm atmosphere.
weather mostly works, even my mood depends on them!

4. Good Food
What i taste inside my mouth, put around my teeth, suck on tongue, masticate, chew up, then
swallow right to the cavity are surely gotta be delicious and healthy's number 2. good foods
maybe gain you 1 or 2 kgs but they absolutely gain tons of happiness! i call it satisfaction, and
good food declares it.

5. Good Moment and its documentation
Good moment isn't meant to be happened for hundred times, a very good moment that hard to forget, makes you smile whenever you see the picture of it are mostly rare. looking at my photo album makes me realize that every seconds are worthy. so live your life! and marks hundred times of good moments :)

i wanna be balanced

2009-08-21T10:01:00.000-07:00

i often wander to be a scientist, the smart one that reveal the earth secrests such as 'parallel universe'; one of the greatest physics' controversial phenomenon that becomes a periphrasis and causes such a never ending argument among scientist all over the world. finding the dreamlike universe, just for you and your own thought, and also scientist usually make a happy and wealthy family, prosperous yet intellect one.

well, not so easy path i think, just look at that 'wannabe scientist' guy's charmingly confused face trying to analyze the question and finding the right answer

* * * * * * * * *

but on the other side, i just wanna be peaceful. at heart and mind. into the wild. being free to explore the beauty of earth, being part of nature, finding meaningful things, that other people will never get the point of it. spend the rest of my life for doing things that i love the most, unstoppable creative, pure at heart, closer to God and be a more spiritual human being.

i'll put on a smile, a blissful and euphoria one. just like they do. Hippies always know how to be Happy!

wasted life

2009-08-17T22:53:00.000-07:00

time doesn't walking. it does run. and every second counts.

why don't i write again? or drawing? or even studying?

i just feel wasted, wasted time-wasted life.

there are lots of great stuffs that you won't find in google.

influenced by technology.

even worse.

well, Spike do you have any idea?

*worf worf*

first of august

2009-07-25T11:06:00.000-07:00

can't wait for the art class
maybe it's not gonna be as ingratiating as lena's
but at least i'm not gonna sketch a naked mannaked man.....

monday

2009-07-08T23:09:00.000-07:00

well, it's not monday yet.
but soon, it's gonna be.
end of holiday season,
yes, it's the 3rd grade's poison.

i'm the peops watcher

2009-06-20T12:52:00.000-07:00

there are times when vision becomes sharper, stronger, even more sensitive, and i've been through that kinda phase. complicated and they're identified subjective; only from my own perspective which is abnormal and invisible, by any other people.

it's a tough boring day though, the day i spent 6 hours inside a gigantic mall, consists of hundreds of people and it's crowded enough, which i hate that 'crowd of people' extremely.
i was sitting on the corner and there's my dad's still diggin' up for treasures inside the book store. and i was all alone, with a cup of tea and mushroom fried as if i'm not forgotten and as usual, i watched people. not their faces nor what they wears. their simple slight of sore eyes, mostly they are-that obviously reflect what they see, think, even what they feel.

there's kid crying, begging for cup of ice creams but his mom doesn't care just walks away texting on her BB Bold and let the nanny's being whined for, lambasted by the kid. a quite bad scenery, care free mother, poor innocent nanny, and annoyingly spoiled kid. they're rich, but they are not happy. on the other side i see a happy family, really! they're laughing at something that looks really funny, they walks in a line, mom talks to the big brother while dad's carrying the younger sister on his back. no BB, no shopping bags, no worries. they're just enjoying that moments really well, they are absolutely happy. i smile, for a moment. and they disappear into the elevator.

well, here's a couple. not teenagers maybe 20s and i can see they're in the awkward moment. they don't have any conversations. both of them are busy on their own Blackberry, they smile, they laugh by theirself. they don't share. they have their own bussiness, even while they're dating! until the female left behind quite far, but that male still doesn't notice. they've just lost the chemistry, they fall for Blackberry! really, i feel sorry for them.

oh well, BB fever is undeniable! do i have to cough, sputtering, even shout to remind people who queues in front of me? they really get me crazy. they're not addicted, they're f*ckin'ly obsessed!

i'm not a stalker, i'm just people-watcher.

seek my words

2009-06-14T14:20:00.000-07:00

Irresistible wide open eyes

Now, i really think you rebel on me

S olicit without any solitary

Oh, now you succedly make me temper

My eyes-beautiful eyes, just please i'm begging you to hide from light easily

Nor permission or any worst petition

I ask you both very nicely

Awfully i yell my head on to sleep!

Hey, i'm not glowing into any of things this late

Enough to eat, ready to be spoiled by the fusion cushion

Leave me, except the solitude

Pretend i am no where, rapidly ascending to the blue

endowing k-not k for kimia, doh

2009-06-11T02:02:00.000-07:00

yes, it's a suffer from skin infections, not mine not others, none of people around get sick. it's just a nick, well just guess, long nick for simple thing, that is absolutely abstract, not abstarct actually it has a meaning but i've decide just to hide it, not hate it-as simple as a hidden meaning (not a hidden mickey!), consolation, entertainment whatever words would hard to represent this cloudless mind of peculiar one. it feels like oasis in a middle of desert, wasteland, or just in the middle of nowhere that slightly come and offer you a bliss-blinking bliss that you can't push aside.

счастливый вме́сте
today's russian.

another way to broadway

2009-06-01T06:41:00.000-07:00

look at that amazing decoration set of the stage

also those shimmering lighting from every corners
more than listen, just close your eyes and feel the slighty hum from an evil witch from the east
and never divert or take your mind off those play actor's magnificent, super talented, sylphlike move-even some accessories and the 'walk-ons' seem to be prominent!

i wish i could stay any longer from that sortie moment, i'll watch that wicked broadway show just right away........
what a ruefulness i've ever felt : (

i secretly wish.. i can get back there, watch by my own, and write a script for the next show which is my very own project.

that's why i love colours !

2009-05-28T05:38:00.000-07:00

it's not because both of my parents took psychology as their major, but it's because i'm interested in people's characteristic, which is kinda strange, those are fluctuating easily, from glad to mad or scared until they cry. well, but some says i'm a rigid judge, quick making judgement, just right away before i recognize the whole condition and circumstances, and that's absolutely not a good behaviour, so sorry!

for me, people is just like a cd. they're packed in a simple black and white package, i consider it as a grayscale, but when you watch it closely beneath the light, also stare at one among the heap, that grayscale are fickling into attractive colours, red blood, yellow sun, baby blue, but gray or any other clandestine colours still settle down there.
it means that when you get along with any random people for a long while, you'll obtain a deep understanding with him/her. colours have their own unique way to represents people's characteristics. well, that's what i think....... in a philosophical way

I could be brown
I could be blue
I could be violet sky
I could be hurtful

I could be purple
I could be anything you like

i have my own opinion

2009-05-22T08:58:00.000-07:00

people has their own life
i have my very own and so you do
focus on that-your life, not any complicated someone else's wife
just stay out, don't you dare to show up
cause one step closer, you'll never find the way out!

well, better you get out, just out of the earth.

fact or fiction? just guess

2009-05-22T07:52:00.000-07:00

i simply have nothing to do, confused in the middle of a busy schedule, tons of things to solve immediately (sounds too dramatic) and most of them are about school life. remedials, examinations, or just sequence of ordinary homeworks that are not done yet. AAAAARGH ! i wanna scream for scoops of ice cream, those thingies are too boring and disconcerting so i can't keep my holy-brain wide open receiving another formulas or any kind of materials to be memorized. what a dumb dumb, sloppy couch potato who seats comfortably on a giant sofa; that's exactly what i'm doing ! just listening to my music and keep my head in the clouds is the greatest way to live these days.

as usual, i'm searching anything interesting in the biggest source on earth; google it is. random things, and the most confiscate my peculiar mind is the article about a little girl who got lost in Venice, Italy-a northen town of maze, means once you're seperated from others, don't even think you're gonna find the way back home. people out there are not about trying to intimidate us, but it's fact that sunset often comes earlier in Venice and soon the town will be ruined off the light. her family and friends have been looking for her days and days but she hadn't come her nose up yet. what an incident, there's no any certainty about her vanishing point until today.

guess what, what just happened to her on that day in 1993 ?

She has just slipped and falled into a big hole that consists of other fascinating world beyond earth that has no way in nor out. she was stucked there, living her life in a different way. Nowadays, archeologists and group of roves are about to find that secret hole, but until today no one knows the exact astronomical position. it's about a big phenomenon, not just an ordinary incident.

One question for sure, do you wanna be that lucky girl?

i always want to be.

my gratitude to the K- she's the inspiration!

2009-04-22T00:27:00.000-07:00

actually, i've written this post about a couple days ago, but time was rushing out and dramatically i didn't have any seconds to click the 'publish post' button. well, the truth is i forgot, but lucky me! there's an active autosaved system, so i don't have to write the same page in the different time, so take your time.. : )

i woke up late this morning- i mean this afternoon, it's 2.38 pm already just a couple hours ago i just be startled, and the worst part is the reminder is on, told me that i have to go to school, do the traditional dance but when i look out the window, there's no driver downstairs. panic ! at the moment, figured the way out, but there's nothing i can do, so i just made a cup of tea, and sat in front of my desk, and right now i'm checking things, tv, cell phone, or maybe messenger, also my very own blog.

then, i have a little chit chat with my friend, she's Kayo- Kania actually, kayo's just her goofy but groovy name hahaha and she inspired me by suggesting to watch the most freakin' incredibly girly stuffy- well, it sounds annoying but it is ! guess what, it's Paris Hilton My New Bff, the glam lifestyle of an A-list celebrity but packed boorishly of reality show that even doesn't seems real. can you imagine, there are 3 'girl next door' type stand in a line, looks nervous nor scared, and crying at the same time just to listen to what Paris has decided, who's gonna be her new Bff also the elimination section. that's so ridiculous ! for me, that's not a right thing to do to own a bestfriend. cause i think, true bestfriend can't be found just like that, through selective activities like Paris did, like hang out to some cool places or maybe go shopping for fancy dresses and when you're feel uncomfortable with one of them, you can just eliminate-whoo, what a tough word it is.
i can't say that i'm a good bestfriend cause i feel i'm not, even i'm a terrible one. even spongebob squarepants does it better than me or Paris? haha here's his friendship quote :
F is for friends that do stuff together
U is for you and me, and
N is for anywhere and anytime at all down here in the deep blue sea!!

friends are fun, that's the conclusion.
well-actually, i miss my friend, my bestfriend : (

friday night isn't always creepy

2009-04-10T14:16:00.000-07:00

have you ever spent a night without sleeping, no closing eyes nor vaporizing ? just a long single day-from 12 pm on friday until this dawn- saturday 5.30 am in the morning, talking with a cyber friend, that you even haven't met before. actually i'm exhausted and i feel a little bit stiffy at the moment, whereas i refuse to left the conversation..........................

blank white paper, with no purpose

2009-03-21T19:49:00.000-07:00

my desk almost drown among papers lately. mostly are my subjects photocopies, science nor history; they're all just slushy papers, with my bad handwriting in it and so, they're kinda trashier than they were before. actually, it's about 2 am in the morning and as usual, i couldn't sleep.

i really don't have any suitable topic to discussed about, it's like, if you can imagine a sky, a very blue sky that has no cloud settling down in it, that is absolutely me-head, inside. or maybe as simple as a paper, i'm just an a4 size white paper, empty without any scratches in it. or in my favorite way; the fantasy, i might be just like a half-living human without my daemon. i'm blank, i have no purpose, i admit-though it's hard, that i'm a total zero right here, right now. shall i sleep ? maybe it's not a better way out than keep my 'never-be-stiffy' finger dancing from one knob to another knob.

you might see, i'm a disorganized one, a lazy sleepy head that can't stay a little bit longer for updating my agenda, also adjourn task even worse, let it pass through the dead line. i know it's a serious problem and parents never stop yelling me that i have to have a life plan-sounds too risky and many responsibilities are needed, isn't it? and that creepy life plan consists almost everything, i recognize that but i'm sure that it takes a looong time to change those all negative yet relaxing attitudes. i have no target in life nor path that usually guide people, to get a guaranteed carreer that earn much money, to be considered as an employee of the month that looks like mature-successful and becoming a role model to others. a total ordinary life, which me don't like.

hmm... i'm thinking about the paper plane, just a blank white paper that has been a little modified, fold from side to side and "phewww...!". mostly kids just throw it away and it won't fly any longer and at last "boom!". crashed to the ground. and on the ground that paper will be more suffered, trampled upon those kids shoes and ignored. paper plane has no purpose exactly, just like me that has no certain future, just a paper that blew up by wind and has a chance-even just a little time to fly, but at least it flies! and it's the very first idea of making an aeroplane. what a heroic blank white paper it is. paper plane makes me realize things around, oftenly in the different side- peculiar mind i suppose, that sometimes people is not always born to be something big, or to be a famous rich one, who achieve great things in life. but i'm sure everyone can be someone, even it's not as big as most of people dream of, but it's the way better, is becoming the inspiration for others.

great things come up everywhere, and you may thought they're not necessary, so you ignored them like they are invisible. a really bad word to humiliate someone, because you'll never know what's gonna happen tomorrow, and someday you'll realize that even spoiled pee in pants kid, or pretty-flirty girls are about inspiring !

unconditional consciousness

2009-03-08T19:46:00.000-07:00

staring at the ceiling but i see nothing
just a tiny painting and some woods are cracking
i am drinking, not beer nor alcohol
just a simple mineral water packed in a bottle

me-what's up?
never have any thought that don't wanna admit
this unconditional consciousness
that really stabs on my weakness
come on rain, give me some brains
it's complicated, yet hard to explain

walking through the door to the living room
staring at the corner, find the old brown broom
looking for the inspiration or any conclusion
but there are only confusion and sorientation

this unconditional consciousness
that really stabs on my weakness
i'll nevereverever tell you
i'll nevereverever talk about you
i'll nevereverever walk with you
i'll nevereverever think it's all you

and i will nevereverever declare i might fall for you

these words are about representing the corner of my (well i don't wanna recognize it as mine) peculiar mind. actually i'm not in el ow vi iy, just a weird feeling, even me-the weird one in town can't analyze it. it's soooooooo me-what's up? i don't even distinguish my very-own-self ! sounds cheesy, but it's fact.

pe(s)tfriend

2009-02-28T06:25:00.000-08:00

when every single human-being has no 'just-a-minute' time to be spended with me just to share some of my extraordinary thoughts that always beat around my mind but unfortunately i have no conclusion to deal with it, sometimes i feel bad, even worse, meaningless. but actually i'm glad to be alone but it doesn't mean all alone in entire life, but several moments alone are better. you don't have to face confusing faces, don't listen to what that face's talking about, don't even argue about things, that has no big deal to be argued with that face. i'm not talking about someone's face that looks ugly or beautiful, just an ordinary majority human faces with ordinary five senses indeed.

when i caught in an irritating condition above, i'm automatically looking for sweets, ice creams, chocolate, jellies, or maybe candies. those things are satisfying me a lot, but also gaining my weight, a lot. but i feel better, sometimes bad moods are worth payed by more weight, but surely i'll concern about it after. then i'll catch my ipod listen to 'my' music, lay down on my bed, staring at the ceiling, i am thinking. but i'm not a hundred percent healed, recovered by the atmosphere of positivities around me, i'm okay already but just a little. i can feel the emptiness, the space that used to be filled by a living thing, creature, a pet. a dog. a good dog. a big dog. a big good dog. a labrador, or maybe golden retriever, but a huge one. taller than me if it's necessary. labradoodle to hug and a goltrivie to walk with.

my parents don't allow me to adopt a pet, a complicating pet they said, hard to take care of. but, me ? i am really want to, and i'm absolutely ready (i even write on the corner of my old little organizer, that i will spare my time all-by-my-own to wash, take an afternoon walk, feed, clean its (i 'll say it in an intellect way, feces), take it to the veterinary, and buy it some cute clothes, even all the activities are wasting my money, a lot). but they hesitate my hard will, and bought me some fishes as the substitutes, slick jelly-ish living creatures that don't bring me happiness (sorry to say, but they are).

i just watched a movie, Marley and Me about hours a go and i got a little wail even it's kinda hard to admit. the story is about a hyperactive dog, called marley that has been adopt by a married couple, jenny and john. john is a funny columnist, that always fills his column in a south florida's newspaper, talking about marley's annoyance. "you're the worst dog in the world!" that john's favorite sentence about marley. but marley is an extraordinary dog, he wakes up a whole night watching for the babies (even he always makes a noice and messes up the house, but he's a caring dog, really). but jenny faces a difficult time, to be a mother also a busy writer and feel so annoyed by marley's attitude. she asked john to returns marley to its husbandry and those terrible incidents make the family almost broken out. but they can handle it and understanding each other well. but as the time goes by, human grows old also marley, the dog. he's older, bigger, and becomes weak. at last he's dead peacefully and burried in front of the house, because a disease that attacks his tummy.

it's not an oscar award's movie, that doesn't have an actor that has a strong character or a high-tech effect, just a simple easy-watching movie that entertains people by it's comedy and meaning. it teaches me how to love something that you've chosen already to the fullest, not regreting its lot of fouls and take care of it, as best as you can do.

what a woman's (not only man for now) bestfriend, dog is. for better, for sharing happiness or extraordinary thoughts and for worse. Marley, is the right name for my future dog i'll chase for it ! : )

shine which i don't like

2009-02-24T05:41:00.000-08:00

all the shine that i've ever saw, not as resenting as this
not as agressive as it is, not as intruding as today
not shiny nor glowy, it's frustating all the way

everything was fine, but you make it unright
insecured, i just caught confusingly in the middle
don't wanna get hurt nor get skin-burned
it's sun, the shine which i don't like

don't call me little miss sunshine
cause i'm glad without sunshine
i will never call you my sunshine
cause i ain't need any sunshine

sorry Mr. Sunshine, i won't meet you
i don't like you, but i hate you
you may trap me up but i'll pass the riddle
you just get stuck in a silly love triangle

don't call me little miss sunshine
cause i'm glad without sunshine
i will never call you my sunshine
cause i ain't need any sunshine

sssh i'm secretly waiting for the rain
if it's not enough to defeat the shine which i don't like,
i'll shouting out loud to the eclipse
the thing that doesn't have any certainty
but i'd rather sit down
cause i know it'll come, and won't let me down :)

next to the Mr. solitude

2009-02-22T20:28:00.000-08:00

phewww...! it feels like 1001 empty nights left without any writing and now... (drum rolls) i'm back ! ready to write, and would like to share you some of my peculiar thoughts (as usual).

actually today i'm sick, but not in serious condition, just a little headache and stomachache. about 5 days ago some of friends and i made a 'how-to-be-sick-plan', consists of some crazy actions to make ourselves sick. such as eating various kind of unhealthy dirty with no guilty snacks, getting all wet and cold by standing in the rain, also decreasing our food (the worst part is) and sleep hours. those are non sense plans at all, even every normal people just want to get healthier by the day but us ? we wanna get sick cause we're sick of our daily routines. and what can i say, God just grants my wish i'm sick right now and i'm not that happy.

i'm all alone upstairs, just me and the living electricity, and the tranquility's around me. it makes me feel better even it's not raining (the giant spotlight becomes the prominent actor today). i'm sitting in front of the computer and taking some personality tests. it's not because i wanna get to know my disconcerting self better (i know exactly who i am) but i just wanna see the results. and i'll show you the most accurate (for me) just right away......

it comes from youjustgetme.com

'Casual' bubble : "What's the big deal?" might be one of your favorite mottos. Indeed, you are pretty casual in your approach to life, taking thing as they come and not worrying too much about the future, or even the next minute. You're spontaneity earns you friends as you are very fun to be with. However, the same friends might be annoyed by your inability to show up to places on time, or even show up.

'Alternative' bubble : You are intellectually curious, imaginative, and literary. I do believe the technical term is "artsy fartsy." When reading poetry, the images may move you until you quiver with delight, or perhaps quivering from all of the espresso that you've been drinking. Speaking of caffeine, it would not be a big surprise if you indulged in other substances to heighten your senses. After all, whoever heard of creative geniuses who were sober? Freud was a coke-head also Hemingway was a fall-down drunk, (and probably i'm gonna be Aya the coffee-fanatic, haha). You have quite the active fantasy life and are often in la la land, earning you the well-deserved nickname "space cadet" from your loved ones.

'Unemotional' and 'Neurotic' bubbles : To quote the Hershey chocolate company, "sometimes you feel like a nut, sometimes you don't." That pretty much sums up your score on the trait of emotional stability. There are times when you feel such intensity of emotions, mostly negative, that you just want to lie down and spend the day alone (so true!). In other contexts (like when you're on your meds), you feel just fine, calm, happy, ready to face the day.

'Competitive' and 'Cooperative' bubbles : You're not exactly a people-person, but you're not exactly a curmudgeon either. While agreeable people tend to care a lot about others' problems and competitive people might use others' disadvantages to their advantage, you are the kind of person to care, but not overly much. You are likely to tell people what you think even if those beliefs are unpopular, but you try to relay your thoughts in a relatively caring way.

'Introverted' bubble : For the most part, you are a fairly reserved person, who thinks before you speak. You may be very successful and work hard for your goals and dreams, it is difficult for you to meet people because you secretly wish that people would talk to you so that they can see what an absolutely wonderful, interesting, and charming creature you are or you secretly wish that people would just go away. It's not inaccurate to say that the life of an introvert is much like being underwater at a community pool, which is somewhat isolating but tranquil until you reach the surface of the pool and have to contend with the "noises" of everyday life.

or this one, from quizbox.com

Your view on yourself : Other people find you very interesting, but you are really hiding your true self. Your friends love you because you are a good listener. They'll probably still love you if you learn to be yourself with them.
The type of boyfriend you are looking for : You are not looking merely for a boyfriend, you are looking for your life partner (am i that serious ?) Perhaps you should be more open-minded about who you spend time with. The person you are looking for might hide their charm under their exterior.
Your readiness to commit to a relationship : You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.
The seriousness of your love : Your have very sensible tactics when approaching the opposite sex. In many ways people find your straightforwardness attractive, so you will find yourself with plenty of dates.
Your views on education : Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.
The right job for you : You have plenty of dream jobs but have little chance of doing any of them if you don't focus on something in particular (just like madam hana told me a week ago - i've payed her 50000 rupiahs to be fortune-telled me about my long and winding life, but pardon me i'm not gonna tell you cause i just want to keep that 'thingy' to be absolutely mine). You need to choose something and go for it to be happy and achieve success.
How do you view success : You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.
What are you most afraid of : You are afraid of things that you cannot control. Sometimes you show your anger to cover up how you feel.
Who is your true self : You like privacy very much because you enjoy spending time with your own thoughts. You like to disappear when you cannot find solutions to your own problems, but you would feel better if you learned to share your thoughts with a person you trust.

are those the ways people and you, of course think about me ? although those silly personality tests are not reflecting me 100% true, but i suggest you to find out more about yourself by taking those tests. enjoy ! burn this after you read.

the wake up song

2009-02-15T06:54:00.000-08:00

yesterday was all about half sides of vampire and werewolf inside my limpy body, i stayed up until 3 am (the most longstanding night in 2009 yet), and the consequence it is, i woke up late and when i caught myself in the mirror, i was shocked, terribly! i saw a corpse, smiling human corpse was staring at me, the purple pale pouches and slightly tendons around the eyes. but hell yeah, it was me that looks so scary and unhealthy.

usually my mind is full-filled by some of my favorite songs. indies, especially the soprano woman's voices as the lead singer and music built up by the synthesizer. but this morning, something just went wrong, jason mraz becomes the 'prominent actor' in my brain stage, even he woke me up by saying,
"wake up everyone, how can you sleep at a time like this unless the dreamer is a real you"
i can't deny that i am a dreamer, but i just be startled and realized that what mr. a-z means 'time like this' is right now the grey clouds are crying happily. it rains even just a short waterdrops (not as satisfying as usual).

today i think a lot, and my peculiar mind whispers me, "do you have a thing, actually the living thing that understand you better than you did? a living thing that makes you recognize your own mistakes without any prestige? and do you have a living thing that turns you to be an open-minded one, turns you to be a honest without hiding any thought, even just a simple thought and let the living thing now you just the way you are?"
i wanna slap that peculiar one right away but what the hell, it's my own mind which i can't avoid.

actually there was an occurrence (have been solved already), influential enough for me and it makes me think, a lot. i just hurted someone, the close one, but it was not hurt means i hit her right on her head, or kick her out of the classroom, but it's about hurt inside, i call it hurt-hearted. it was all because my freakin hard-to-understand characteristic (i hate to blame this nature, but it is). maybe i'm the living real version of edward scissor-hands (one of my favorite of tim burton's) for those who can't understand. i realize that i hurt two persons in a row, but i didn't realize it at a time cause i didn't mean to but it just happened. the scheme is just like :

i just don't wanna hurt or to be hurted so i am secured
i am secured and it makes people come closer
people come closer and i get to know those people better
i get to know those people better and it makes them feel the comfort
once they feel comfortable snap! they just got cut off (hurt-hearted actually)

aargh i feel bad to write it just down, but it's my private space so who cares.
many apologizes for the most valuable N and miserable T.
burn this paper-plane quickly!

2 hours note

2009-02-14T10:02:00.000-08:00

Wisely, and slow. They stumble that run fast.
(William Shakespeare)

you will never have any idea why did i post a blog analyzing about.... what a tough word to just type it right away, el-ow-vi-iy (gulp). even my mood rings turns into purple which means passionate, but i won't describe myself as a romantic one, cause i am really not. though i'm not romantic, i admire william shakespeare a lot. it's not about his creation but it's about how he create it, the poems, the narratives, also the playwrights. how he put his feelings into words and those words become beautiful.

back to the top, those words are one of my favorite of his quotations. it is so true, i am kinda wisely and slow in el-ow-vi-iy thingy. too slow i think, i'm not fallen for anyone lately. you know, teenagers are mostly easy to say or text 'i love you' to his/her couple. it's normal of course, but why i've never said those difficult words? am i too shy? i don't think so. am i too hard hearted? maybe, but this hard isn't that frozen to be melted. i guess it's all about stumbling. i don't wanna get stumble when i'm stepping the stones. once i've ever got stumble (about a year ago) and it feels hurt a lot. your legs wanna get up, your head orders you to move on, but your heart stay there still, not ready yet. but i'm okay now, forget it just a case that already been solved.

about two and a half hours was a valentine day, and you know what that means, for some people out there, they might think that love was in the air. for me, it's not a big deal, it's just the ordinary saturday, the 6th day in a week, and one of my pleasure day after friday. i just catched up with some of my favorites then watched movies with my family. what a day.

so, wait for months or years or as long as it could be for the Mr. Right? doesn't matter, i'll take those risks.
one thing you should do, burn this paper plane after you read!